Uteruses before duderuses

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a supportive friend, and I feel lucky that my closest friends really embody that quality. It wasn’t always like that. To be honest, I don’t know that I was necessarily always the absolute “best” friend I could have been, either.

Thankfully we (mostly) all grow up. Or, if necessary, we grow apart.

On the subject of supportive friendship, I thought I’d share this quote from Taylor Swift that came up on my TikTok the other day since she’s been in the news recently (though, honestly when isn’t she?).

She said, “The worst kind of person is someone who makes someone feel bad, dumb or stupid for… being excited about something.”

The best kinds of friends, I think, are the ones who share in our excitement — even if it’s about something that they’re not into or if it’s something maybe they wish they had. We’ve talked about jealousy already, so that’s not what this newsletter’s about.

Instead of taking a mental survey of your friends to determine whether they’re supportive - like you might be doing now lol - I thought it might be good to do a friend check-in ourselves. Nobody’s perfect, of course, but I don’t know the last time I did an evaluation of myself as a friend. We hold reviews in our places of work all the time, and friendships are way more important than those relationships (imho).

BetterHelp, a therapy website, names these as some categories of friendship traits: integrity, caring, congeniality.

• A good friend can be trusted. He or she is loyal, honest and dependable. (Sarah’s translation: They don’t talk sh*t about you behind your back.)

• They listen and show empathy.

• You feel better after spending time with them.

• Good friends make you laugh and lift your mood.

• Friends let you be yourself without judgment.

• They respect your boundaries.

The site goes into more depth on each of these if you want to check out the whole article.

What are other friendship traits that you find important? Do you think there’s anything areas of friendship that you could work on?

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