The wrong door

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On my 27th birthday, I was in an Uber leaving a work meeting en route to a birthday dinner planned by my friends. The driver struck up a conversation and after a while, he asked me what I did for work and if I enjoyed it. “I’m a political reporter,” I told him. “But no, I don’t know. I don’t think it’s for me.” (That team meeting had been legitimately awful.)

He said that in his home country, they have a saying that if a flower isn’t blooming, you need to move it into the right environment in order for it to flourish. It’s a common saying here, too, but it felt really special that he shared that on my birthday, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that conversation.

And as we all know now, it was pretty prophetic. Today’s Foolproof is about ~flow.~ And before you’re like, no thanks, that sounds too woo-woo for me, just give me a second.

I didn’t know how to describe the resistance I was feeling in my career until I read “Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty. He talks about living in your dharma, or purpose. It felt like no matter how hard I worked — literally no matter what I did — I was facing some type of resistance. I don’t know if you would be able to tell that on the outside looking in. My guess is, probably not. But on my end, it was rough. Shetty writes that when you aren’t living in your purpose, it feels like you’re constantly swimming against a current.

It clicked. I wasn’t bad at my job. It just wasn’t right for me. You can be the whole package, just at the wrong door. (I’d actually heard that saying originally in the context of dating, but I think it works well here, too.)

Since I left, it’s felt like the hard work I’m putting in is finally being matched. There’s an equal amount of “grit” and “grace.” I’m also able to finally be myself. Life just, I’m gonna say it, flows. Things that I’d tried to force before are just happening without me asking for them. I’d say that’s pretty good evidence of this flow situation.

In the last year, my friends have all individually commented that I seem so much “lighter.” And it’s because I am. Life is not perfect by any means, but I’m no longer exhausting myself trying to fight the current when I’m swimming.

And I hope wherever you are, you feel that lightness, too.

What do you think about this flow situation? Yay or nay? You can find me on IG or just reply to this email. Or if you have any questions, send those, too. Getting your emails is still my favorite part of the week, so please keep them coming 🙂