You need to calm down

What even is meditation? With Elizabeth Winkler, LMFT

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Stop what you’re doing and take a deep breath in. No, seriously, do it. Great. Now, exhale. If that wasn’t too hard, congrats. You might be able to meditate.

I’ll be upfront and tell you that my motive this week is to get you to try meditating if you haven’t before. And if you have, then hopefully this will serve as a nice reminder to do it consistently. Zero pressure, obvi. And if you think meditation is just for the most woo-woo and hakuna matata among us, I get it. But I actually think the busier and more driven you are, the more important it is for you to meditate to keep that sustained while giving you incredible perspective.

While I meditate (almost) regularly, I’m no expert, so I talked to Elizabeth Winkler, a licensed family and marriage therapist and certified meditation teacher based in Los Angeles. She was kind enough to give us some intel that will hopefully make meditation less intimidating.

“Meditation cultivates our awareness, which supports us being more patient, a better listener, restful sleep, boosts compassion, and empathy, and most importantly, allows us to think more clearly,” she said. (Sound good? Read on.)

I started meditating on the advice of my own therapist to deal with my ~big emotions~ and the stress of leaving my last career. And while that specific anxiety isn’t something I deal with anymore, I still meditate as a way to improve mindfulness to deal with things that come up throughout the day. I’ll get into my practice later, but for now, here are some beginner tips on meditation from Elizabeth.

  1. Start small. It’s about consistency, not duration.

    “Don’t get overambitious. Just a few minutes a day builds up over time. Keep showing up, and you’ll start to feel the benefits.”

  2. I think the easiest time to start a meditation practice is at the beginning of the day right when you wake.

    “This is the most beneficial time to meditate. The first thing that you put into your awareness/brain affects how happy you are and will decrease anxiety levels. So, if you choose to read the news, emails or texts, you don’t know what stress/fear or anxiety you may be ingesting.”

  3. I encourage clients to set an alarm 30 mins before they need to get out of bed.

    “You can also set an additional alarm if you are worried you may fall back to sleep during meditation.”

  4. Use an app and allow someone to guide you into your day.

    “My go-to is Insight Timer.” (Note from Sarah: Just tried Insight Timer today for the first time and really liked it. I normally use the Calm app, but there is a yearly subscription fee to use!)

  5. If [morning meditation] is of the question for you, another option would be to pair your meditation practice with another habit (habit stacking).

    “So, if you always have coffee/tea you can have a post-it reminder to meditate for 5 mins first and then have the coffee/tea.” (Note from Sarah: I’ve been successful at being consistent when I do it after a workout as my cool-down.)

My practice is still small; I do no more than 15 minutes each day. The only way I can get good at being mindful throughout the day around small situations (think, when a boss is rude or a guy doesn’t respond to a text) is by having a meditation practice because it exercises those muscles. Thinking of it as a form of exercise, except for my brain, has helped me maintain consistency.

(Basically, “mindfulness” is just a word that means being able to focus on the present moment without judging whatever feelings you’ve got going on. I’ll allow myself to think, “Ok, I’m frustrated” or “I feel hurt,” and let it pass by me. I once heard someone say that you should envision emotions like they’re flowing down a river past you. Guided meditations will help you get a feel for this.)

Instead of a recommended read or podcast this week, here’s a 3-minute guided meditation from Elizabeth. It’s literally only three minutes. I just did it in the middle of writing this! Try it tomorrow morning when you wake up, or this evening, or even right now.

A note from Elizabeth: I have a course on Manifesting Your Dreams into a New Reality that is about to begin on 8/12. (It will be recorded and sent after each session in case you cannot attend all of the Zoom meetings.)

Did you try to meditate this week? Do you already have a consistent practice? Let me know! You can find me on IG or just reply to this email. Or if you have any other questions about meditation (or anything else, like topic suggestions), send those, too. Getting your emails is still my favorite part of the week, so please keep them coming 🙂 

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“Meditation is not about stopping thoughts, but recognizing that we are more than our thoughts and our feelings.”

Arianna Huffington

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