Black hair. And more eye makeup.

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I saw Priscilla the weekend before last and have not stopped thinking about it. Fair warning: I will give away the ending here, but it’s a true story. I don’t think that warrants a spoiler alert, but what can I say, I’m here to serve.

The movie is equally as hauntingly beautiful as it is heart-wrenching. Priscilla falls in love with the publicly beloved Elvis (who grooms her, which is so gross, but that’s for another newsletter.) She slowly finds that he isn’t the fairytale she believed him to be (which, ladies…kind of relatable, no?).

Elvis is an addict, he’s a narcissist, and he’s controlling. He tells her how to dress and directs every other facet of her appearance (“Black hair. And more eye makeup.”) The movie follows Priscilla’s quiet but powerful observations of their relationship. Over time, she begins to develop a separate life in Los Angeles, lets down her hair and starts wearing more natural make-up. And then she divorces him.

Now, I can’t imagine that all of us have found ourselves in a relationship with the nation’s heartthrob du jour (Harry Styles, call me), but I found this to be an applicable metaphor for something else I wanted to talk about, which is our inner demons.

As she scrutinized her relationship, Priscilla was able to leave what was holding her down to become a better, freer version of herself. In the same way, I think a lot of us are allergic to admitting our own faults and challenges. When we have a negative thought about ourselves, whether it’s a realization that we feel jealous or have been tempted by something, we often shove it under the rug, only for it to come back with a vengeance later.

But acknowledging our shortcomings, whether it’s laziness or greed or jealousy, brings them to the light. When we grab them and recognize them as just fleeting thoughts, we realize that those shortcomings aren’t us. And we can show the self-doubt or jealousy or anger kindness. And when we see ourselves in a kinder light, we can move forward. If we feel jealous, for example, by learning to acknowledge jealousy as a part of simply Being Human,™ we show kindness to ourselves and don’t let it fester. We can be happy for the person we feel jealousy for way faster.

In the same way that Priscilla observed the negatives in her relationship with Elvis and was able to show kindness to herself and leave the situation, we can observe a negative thought about ourselves, show kindness to ourselves, and move forward.

Did you see the movie? Are you battling inner demons? What do we think of the metaphor? Too stretched? I’d love to hear your thoughts. You can find me on IG or just reply to this email. Or if you have any questions, send those, too. Getting your emails is still my favorite part of the week, so please keep them coming 🙂